Surviving the First Week!

If you have been following my blog you've learned my Lena Bug started her first year of real (Big Girl School, she calls it) of school as a Pre-k student. This first week has been an emotional roller coaster for Bug...and well...yeah...me too. So here's a little play by play of our first week of Big Girl School!

Monday: (FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!) We got up at 6, got dressed and took pictures. I didn't have her eat breakfast because she receives free lunch. And I thought allowing her to eat breakfast there will teach her how the breakfast/lunch line works, she'll learn her number, and meet friends. Now why 6am even though school doesn't start til 7:45...? Because I transferred Selena to a school closer to her day care so I could work longer hours, so because of this I have to provide her transportation. Which isn't a problem, and if I have to work early and am unable to drop her off I can always drop her off at day care and they bring her to school for me. So we get to school and we ( Selena, myself and her father.) drop off her backpack to her class room and head to eat breakfast. The line was FOREVER long but we were told many times she wouldn't be counted late because it was the 1st day. Her dad kissed her goodbye and left for work which left just me and the Bug, I hate doing things alone, it's an annoying habit of mine. We go through the line get breakfast and sit and eat. This is where I learned Selena needs to eat breakfast at home. She is the slowest eater in the WORLD!! I guess I've never noticed because at home she doesn't have a time limit to eat. After breakfast we walk to class and I drop her off and this is where it goes downhill...I try to sneak out to which I'm caught and because the morning announcements are on I stay so I don't disrupt class. Then when they are over I try to sneak out again, to which I'm caught again and she starts crying (and I almost do too) after the 3rd attempt I get out of there I'm in the hall waiting by the door unable to leave because the door is blocked (a child tries to run out after mom and the teachers catch her and it happens to be right in front of the door.) so I stand there listening and then I hear her, every Mother knows their child's cry...it's a crazy talent. She loses her marbles crying out for me, and 3 times I have to stop myself from going in the classroom to calm her down. When the teachers and the runaway child move from the door I no longer hear my Bug crying out for me and I walk to the car, still not crying. I almost break down a few times but I make it home. I have the day off so I climb into bed with Selena's blanket and send of her 1st day of school picture to family and friends and then break down and cry myself to sleep. After Pickering her up I took her dinner and spent the evening trying to talk her into school being fun.

Selena off to "Big Girl School"

Tuesday: We ate breakfast at home, then headed off to school. I dropped her off and again got the tears and "no Mama please don't leave." Picked her up and once again spent the evening trying to talk her into school being fun.

Wednesday: I spent five minutes sitting in the hallway of Selena's school trying to convince Selena that school is fun to which I get the most heartbreaking response "Mama I gave school a chance, and I'm really sorry I just don't like it, please let me go home." Her teacher just happen to be walking by decided to help with Selena and she grabbed her arm and tried to pull her away from me, this turned an upset child into a screaming one! I got upset myself and I found myself standing in the hallway raising my voice at her teacher. After a small talk we got Selena into class. And again that night I spent time trying to convince her that school is fun...this isn't working if you couldn't tell.

Thursday: I had to be at work early, so I dropped Selena off at daycare, and they would bring her to school for me. How the morning went is unknown to be because I haven't spoken to the lady who dropped them off. The only thing I do know is Selena said she was lost looking for the "big kids" (the other kids from daycare.) and an office lady brought Selena to class. So a small recap Selena, a four year old was let into school and left to wonder around her school until someone noticed her. I was pissed, I took it up with daycare only to find out it was a school issue, they (daycare) don't enter the building when dropping them off. By this time I notice I'm not eating but once a day since Monday, I'm so tired that if I'm not doing something I'm finding myself asleep, and I'm so stressed I'm surprised my hair isn't all gone!

Friday: I bring Selena to class after a run about me needing an ID to enter the school, only to find out I only need it during the school time (7:30-2:45), the lady was only giving me a hard time because she could. Selena is crying about me leaving by this point it's nothing new and has started to make me angry instead of sad. I spend all of work wishing to be home with Selena and for the longest week ever to be over.

So Selena's first week of school was...how do I put this nicely... A disaster!! She cried every time I dropped her off and just about everyday something was wrong. I'm hoping for a better week next week but I'm not holding my breath. Selena is a lot like me, she doesn't like change, or being alone, or going to new places alone. Her teacher says she's fine once she calms down she has fun at school and everyone keeps telling me to give her time she will get use to it. I'm hoping it will happen soon, I don't think I can go through another week of this.

One night before I went to bed I check on Selena and covered her up. I sat down beside her bed and talked to her, nothing of importance, just how much I loved her and I how I hoped she'd start liking school. Before I knew it I was crying. I guess Selena isn't the only one taking going to school hard. When I think of her at Pre-K, I see her one moment as a small little girl and the next I see her in high school! It just seems to fly so fast for me. This weekend has been like a pause button for me, we've spent all of it in pj's watching movies and cuddling on the couch. It's honestly been the best weekend I've had in a while...well minus my stupid fridge breaking and having to put everything is my not so cold freezer and having to move my frozen food to a friends house....

I'm honestly in utter shock I still have hair after this week!!

Erika

Growing Up

In two weeks my Lena Bug will start Pr-K! It's a very exciting and big stepping stone in our lives. At first I was so excited, for two reasons...one I'll be saving money and two yay Selena is becoming a big girl! I have to say I am very thankful for my parents, they have been very helpful with new clothes and school supplies. But now as the day gets closer I find myself getting sad when I think about dropping her off the morning of the 27th. A thousand questions come to my mind, will she like it? Will her teacher be nice to her? Will she make friends? Will she still think I know everything and I'm still the coolest? Oh my goodness I'm getting teary eyed just typing this entry :'(

My Bug 3 months old...

My Bug at 4 years old

My dad has always told me the same two stories about me starting school and making new friends. He, on my first day of kindergarten tried to help me on the bus, I turned and said "I can get on the bus by myself daddy, I'm a big girl now." He said he didn't cry...until he was inside my Grandma's house, (where we were living at the time). And second when I would tell him he wasn't cool or was embarrassing me or so on, he would say "I can remember the time when this little girl thought I could do no wrong. She thought I knew everything...Daddy why is the sky blue? Because I thought it looked nice painted that way kiddo. I was her hero and best friend, I was the smartest person in the world. Now I'm just embarrassing." He would lay that one on pretty thick and I would feel bad. But now like most of his stories, his life lessons speeches, and tidbits of advice, I see he was (oh God this is the part I hate most) ........right. As parent that day will come when it's time to let your baby go out into the world and hope to God that with good teachers, good friends, good family and you; their parents, they will grow up and be good, hard working, smart, loving, caring people who you can be proud of. I will definitely post a picture of the big girl on her first day, with an entry about how much I cried and cried.

Mama and her Bug 2012

Mama and Bug 2008

-Erika

Four Years

Four years seem to take FOREVER when I was in high school waiting to graduate and move anywhere but Texas and start my "life". But four years seem to fly, as I watch my beautiful baby girl turn four.

My beautiful Girl a day old

Since Selena's first birthday I promised myself every year I would make sure she had an amazing day. I want her to know that the day she came into my life was the best day ever. So this year of course had been no different. She loves Scooby Doo, so it was only fitting to throw a Doo themed party. Complete with a homemade fondant cover Scooby Doo cake...made my yours truly! The party was a hit and the night was complete when I asked her if she had a good party, her response " YES, Mama!! I had the BEST birthday EVER!! Thank you so much!!"

A birthday picture I took

Someone is excited about being four

And the famous birthday cake I made

 It's hard to believe its been four years! As I watch her sleep now beside me I can remember the first time I saw her...I guess as a parent the first time seeing your child is a moment you'll never forget. This is little girl, this guardian angel God sent me, has been the best gift I've ever gotten and I wouldn't trade these four years for a thing!

The best day of my life

Selena Michelle Danielle, Mama truly doesn't know what I'd do without you. You keep me laughing, you amaze me, you drive me crazy some days, and everyday you save me. Happy Birthday my Lena Bug, I thank God everyday for giving me you.

Then....

And Now...

-Erika 

Another Year

June 10th at 10:40 am I was officially 23 years old! Happy Birthday to me! The past two years I spent this day at the ocean, my favorite favorite place. But with money being very tight I spent the weekend with family and friends. Friday after work my boyfriend took me out to dinner, Saturday I went swimming with my family then had dinner and cake with them, Saturday night I went had a few drinks with my boyfriend and my room mate, and Sunday I spent the morning (and part of the afternoon) in bed and then laid around the house. Overall it was a nice simple and quite birthday.

Me getting ready for my birthday dinner

A friend asked how does it feel to be another year older and I didn't really have a answer. I don't go out much because of Selena. Gosh that sounds so bad...I never really went out before her (granted I got pregnant when I was 18 so there wasn't a whole lot I could do anyway) so not having much of an outside doesn't bother me. I really couldn't tell you the newest slang word or movie that was out, I take two shots and I'm feeling it, my bedtime is 9 and yes I said bedtime. But question me about Dora The Explore or which princess is which I could write a book!! The joys of being a Mama.

Before I turned another year old I did discover I was allergic to tomatoes...again.
So small back story, when I was really little I LOVED tomatoes, I ate them all the time and would eat them all day long if someone would let me. Slowly my dad noticed that when I would eat a large amount of tomatoes or tomato based foods I would get itchy and break out. After a doctors appointment and common sense my parents discover tomatoes were the bad guys and I was banned from my favorite food. On occasion I would sneak into the kitchen (or my Nana's garden) and eat a few and try to hide my itching from my dad, I wasn't very sneaky. One day I was like 7 or so I ate a lot of tomato based stuff and my parents noticed I didn't break out, so then I went nuts and enjoyed my tomatoes breakout free once again.
About two weeks ago my eczema started breaking out thanks to the lovely Texas heat. (The breakouts usually start in the bends of my arm and have been known to get around my eyes and mouth.) This was the case this time and I have a very painful, embarrassing, annoying breakout which got infected and my body went on attack mode. Tuesday morning I woke up with a small rash on my face, which got worse then better then back to worse. And by Saturday I woke up with a swollen face. I walked into the ER and they freaked out and started pumping me with steroids and allergy medicine. After about an hour and me going over my last meals and remembering my short lived banned with tomatoes, the lovely doctor found our issue. So now I'm back to being banned from one of my favorite foods :(
This has caused an all out war with myself and a tomato plant I was given back in April, since nothing was growing on it and now even if something grew on it I can't enjoy it, I've stopped watering it. My family, boyfriend, and room mate have found this funny and have been watering it when I'm not around. (update:And today, I found a tomato growing on it! )

The EVIL tomato plant

Oh I almost forgot!! I got my dog!! Yep yep, it only took three months but I finally got him and he is just the biggest baby ever!! But I love him.

Hercules, he's such a cuddle bug

Well that's all for now...I'll write again soon!
-Erika

Getting back to the norm...

For those who follow I have been absent...A LOT, lately from here. So first I do apologize for that, just for the record I do have very good excuses for my absent...I started dating again, which was a big deal for me (be kind and remember I'm only 22.) then there was finding a new place to live, which kicked my butt I'm a single mom who doesn't make much money so there wasn't much to look at, then the dog (which is still an on going issue!) and then there was moving and unpacking.

So I'm all moved in, and I'm loving my new home. It took a little bit to get use to my new place, it's so quite in my new neighborhood that when there is noise I just up and almost have a heart attack! See, my apartment was on a busy road, so I was use to hearing loud cars, rude neighbors, loud music, and lots of police. Being an army brat my whole life had worked in my favor because I was able to pack up my apartment in two days and unpack my house in three, I hate not being able to find anything or tripping over boxes so I move fast.

In my last post I mentioned the older oven and stove top...I haven't burned any dinners...but on the stove top I keep forgetting which nob turns which burner on, so a few times dinner has been late. It's one of my famous Puerto Rican Blonde moments, as my Dad calls them. My front and back yard have motion lights, but the one in the back yard stays on...it drives me crazy so I just keep it off or I'll scare myself into thinking something is back there! The one and only thing I don't care for is my newer thermostat, I can't work the damn thing for the life of me!! It has settings for 7 days of the week and the last family that lived here had it set for different temperatures on different days. Some days I'll come home to a freezing cold house and others I'll walk into fire! I live in TEXAS and it got hot early this year so I need an escape from this crazy heat! I've reset it twice and this time I think I finally fixed it...fingers crossed!

Like I mentioned the dog is still an ongoing process, I spent more money then I thought I would moving into my new home and I thought I would have to give up all hope of getting my amazing new pet. (The pet deposit is 325 or 350 or 375...something like that, and then it will cost 135 to get him from the shelter, and all that STILL doesn't include getting him food, food dishes, he's a big dog so I'll have to get a stand for his dishes, a collar, a leash, some toys and a bed!) But my family and Jacob (my daughter's father) got together and came up with the pet deposit as my Mother's day gift! So I can handle the rest. I go up there this week to set up our home visits. He was sick the week before last and we weren't allowed to take him for walks :( so things had been set back. But I've still got hope and fingers crossed.

So as most of you very well know I am a single Mom. I work, and Selena's Dad helps me if ever I need it, but I pretty much do it alone, so I get state assistance. That's right your tax money goes to help me...but don't be mad like I said I WORK, so I like to look at it as I work to pay for my baby to have Medicaid and for us to have food stamps to eat. When we first moved into here I lost my paperwork to renew for food stamps and it was tough. I was pretty stressed, but me being the hardheaded prideful person I am I didn't ask for help. And when I let it slip to my Father when he came to visit (that day I happen to get my food stamps back and went and bought ALL of Wal-Mart) he was very angry with me. I of course got a very mad response from him, when I looked up and saw the hurt, pain and worry in his eyes I broke down. The biggest reason why I brought this up was because no matter how old I get that man still worries about me and still and always will hold my heart. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him. But I would like the record to show that I get my prideful personality from you dear old Dad...remember that.

I wanted to post pictures of my new home on here but my camera went crazy last month right before the move, Jacob was able to fix it but now for some odd reason I can not download my pictures off my camera to my laptop. My SD card for my camera is too small for the slot on my computer so I'll have to steal Jacob's some time this week and upload all my new pictures so Facebook and my follower(s) can get a small peak of my home. I'm a little more then upset with this camera because it is a $500 camera and was given as a gift! And I am not a person of change, I like what I like and know what I know and change and I are not good friends. So if I have to get a new camera (even though I do kinda need one) I think I might be upset.

Everything else is just about the same, I'm still working six days a week, Lena Bug is still my best friend and yep that's about it. I did change things up a little this weekend though, Saturday after work I had some friends over with their kids, we played outside...well the kids played in the little pool and in the bubbles. I had my niece Jessica over and her and Lena camped out in the living room that night. Then today I spent the afternoon outside with my two monsters playing in the pool and going down the slip and slide. I do, very much enjoy my lazy, do nothing, stay in pj's all day, day offs but I loved this productive fun day off!

I'm off the bed, it's 9:40 and I have to open at work tomorrow, so until next time...

p.s. I promise to blog more...Pinky promise!



p.s.s Here's a small preview of my new home!!

Another update...Clearly I've been slacking!

I haven't written in a while, mostly because I couldn't find a topic to write on and if I came up with one I'd start writing stop in the middle and lose all train of thought. So for now I'll leave you with an update...

I finally got a house!! I am super excited to announce that, I've lived in apartments since I move out at 18 so me finding a home I could afford with a big back yard for Selena was a huge accomplishment. It is a nice 3 bedroom home in a, seemly nice area and we move in next week. My only two problems are first the ovens that came in the house look like they are from the 70's...I do think I will be burning a lot of food until I figure them out. And second when I signed the lease I got a booklet about lead paint. I know that lead paint isn't good but I'm not 100% sure what I should be doing. I thought about painting when I get some extra money...ya know in case someone gets the sudden urge to lick or chew the walls.

I am also getting a dog, I do believe I am slightly more excited about the pet. Which is sad, I know. But growing up we always had pets and not having one had made me want every dog I see. And keeps asking for a cat...which I don't want I figured I get her a dog. I'd be the most amazing Mama until 830 that night when I tell her it's bedtime!


My older sister bought a shelter dog a little bit ago and raves about him all the time on Facebook. My niece uses him as a table, foot rest, pillow, and a tag buddy (which is a completely one sided game with this poor dog let me tell you what!). So I decided to check out our local shelters here and see if I couldn't find a dog to fall in love with. At our no kill shelter in town I found two dogs. The first was some kind of hunting dog who looked like an oversize Beagle. After taking him on a walk around the shelter he became a no. He went nuts jumping all over the place trying to bite, then right in the middle of his freak out he just stopped and walked around like nothing happened! It would take one time of jumping on Selena and she'd hate him. So we walked around some more and in the back of a kennel I found this big white, wire haired dog; not barking just laying down like he just had a really bad day. So I called him to the front of the cage and he got up slowly and walked over sniffed my hair then walked away and laid back down. All I could think of was  Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, We took him out for a walk and I just fell in love. He is an Irish Wolfhound mix, all white and had barely and bottom teeth in the front, He is so sweet and go with the flow.

But boy I didn't think adopting a dog from a shelter would be so much work!! Once I get all settled into my place they will do two home visits one to check my home out...aka see if I really live where I'm saying. And the second they will bring him along to see how me feels about his new living arrangements. I go to the shelter at least once a week and take him for a walk and love on him. It breaks my heart when I have to put him back in the cage, he looks so sad and he'll sit right down and won't move. I think it's been a while since this big baby has had a good loving home and I can't wait to spoil him!!

So new place, new pet, I just need a new job and life will be going just the way I need it too. It's been a while since I've had so much going on at once...well so many good things going on. I'll write again soon...probably after I get all moved in!

-Erika

I'm back...

It has been since December since my last post, for all those who have been following me. I'm still alive and kicking, the lack of a laptop had put a screeching halt to my blogging and photography. Thanks to income tax time I've got myself my first laptop and am ready to get y'all caught up on my crazy, sometimes perfect, life.

So I'll start at the beginning from where I left off which was Christmas. This year I was finally able (for the first time in two years) to buy my Lena Bug a Christmas present. It was only one gift but it was one of her favorites...well at least I think it is! And of course she has many people in her life who love her very much and made sure she had an amazing Christmas.

Next is New Years...This year started off with a bang...I started dating someone. For the first time in two years I had felt it was my time to move on. I spent so long trying to make things work with Selena's father and had only gotten pain and rejection, I was ready to smile again. There is still a lot of emotion with this subject and I don't want to hurt anyone who might be reading so I will say moving on has help me remember that I deserve to be happy and I am well on my way of making that happen. Jacob has since moved out and is very happy with his new roommate, the change has been a little harder on Selena, every now and again she'll act out but unlike the change she went through last time Jacob and I have done a TON better at communicating and talking with Selena together. She loves to remind me when I'm upset with Jacob ( I swear she ESP or something when it comes to this) that "Mama and Daddy love each other very much and need to be nicer to each other!"

If everything works out right I could be starting school as early as the end of this month...my fingers are crossed!! I'm set to making a ton of new changes this year, I figured it's time to focus on me. I made a small list at the beginning of this year of some changes I'd like to make and I'm very excited to be crossing them off. Thanks to the lovely Pintrest I do add some small creative things to the list just about EVERY day!!

It is very late and I'm extremely tired this week so I will end this blog with a quote...by...ME

"I'm tired of feeling like I am doing something wrong...I've never smiled brighter, laughed harder, or lived better then this moment! So from this time forward I will make my own path, stop to smell the flowers, laugh when I feel like crying and never forget the lessons that got me where I am. Because I wouldn't want to be any place but right here where I stand today."

Thank you to my newest and only follower...that's documented at least, for giving me the kick in the butt to get this blog up and running again! I hope y'all enjoy! 

-Erika